There’s something about whisky that invites words. The witty, the wise, and the occasionally wobbly. 

Everyone from poets and playwrights to bartenders and balladeers has had a go at summing up the spirit in a single sentence. But forget the usual suspects; we’ve dodged the overused one-liners and dug up genuine whisky quotes that still feel fresh, funny, and worth raising a glass to. 

Here’s the best whisky quotes you’ve never heard.

“Whiskey is for drinking by the fire and telling stories with old friends and for new friends who you want to be old friends.”

— (Reddit user letthereber0ck)

“God invented whiskey to keep the Irish from ruling the world.”

— Ed McMahon

“Whisky making is an act of cooperation between the blessings of nature and the wisdom of man.”

— Masataka Taketsuru (founder of Japanese whisky)

The best whisky quotes you’ve never heard

Masataka Taketsuru and his wife Rita Cowan in a blending lab

“A good gulp of hot whiskey at bedtime—it’s not very scientific, but it helps.”

— Alexander Fleming

“Logic, like whiskey, loses its beneficial effect when taken in too large quantities.”

— Lord Dunsany

“Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my Scotch, I say, ‘I’m thirsty, not dirty.’”

— Joe E. Lewis

“Brother, be a brother, fill this tiny cup of mine. And please, sir, make it whiskey: I have no head for wine!”

— Nick Cave (from Brother, My Cup Is Empty)

The true pioneer of civilisation is not the newspaper, not religion, not the railroad—but whiskey!”

— Mark Twain

“Never delay kissing a pretty girl or opening a bottle of whiskey.”

— Ernest Hemingway

“It is true that whisky improves with age. The older I get, the more I like it.”

— Ronnie Corbett

That was our pick of the best whisky quotes you’ve never heard. Any suggestions? Let us know in the comments below.