How did it come to this? When 250,000 Scovilles Naga Chilli Vodka was released we thought we could finally put this madness behind us. It was the hottest vodka in the world and it tasted like lava and the face-melting scene from the end of Indiana Jones.
But here we are again. Those awful, awful people at The ‘Hot Enough’ Vodka Co. have conjured up another monster. A monster twice as terrifying and evil as before, from the fiery pits of Hades – those lamentable fiends!
Before you go off and buy some because you ‘like spicy things’ though, please do read on. For a start, the new 500,000 Scovilles Naga Chilli Vodka is five times hotter than the evil spirit Philip Scoville Schofield and Emma Willis memorably tasted on ITV’s This Morning…
It’s not just beloved television personalities who think this stuff’s hot though, as we’ve stressed before, this genuinely is not one of those “Oooohh… This is really hot… Careful you… Smiley face with a wink…” products (like many hot sauces we’ve tried over the years). This stuff is stupidly hot, even by our standards*. I’m still only talking about the 100,000 and 250,000 Scovilles Naga Chilli Vodkas here too.
If you still need some convincing, just take a look at how “chilli stuntman and capsaicin lunatic” Darth Naga reacted to trying the 100,000 and 250,000 Scovilles vodkas. He said the latter was “what death tastes like”, this from a man who’s eaten pure capsaicin (the active compound that provides the chilli’s heat) at 16,000,000 Scovilles.
500,000 Scovilles Naga Chilli Vodka – 20cl – £32.95
Pure unspeakable evil.
The whole range is made from just pure wheat spirit and Naga Jolokia chillies (also known as Ghost Chillies), which are so intense they are used by the Indian armed forces as a key ingredient in their chilli-based tear gas grenades. Yep, that. You may also notice that all the labels have been redesigned by Australian artist Nick Sheehy and that the 500,000 Scovilles release comes in a fancy canister. The canister is actually there to keep you out though. Honestly, it’s for the best.
If, despite everything you’ve just read, you’ve decided you’re going to buy a bottle, then let us give you this final warning. All joking aside, this really is not for drinking neat. Don’t shoot it. If you use a tiny bit in a Bloody Mary or with ginger beer it’s still pretty much undrinkable, although it can be electric in cooking. Also, here are the disclaimers you’re agreeing to:
1) I have been warned and fully understand that this product contains extreme heat and should be used and handled responsibly.
2) I use this product entirely at my own risk and I understand the potential danger if used or handled irresponsibly. If I give this product as a gift I will make the recipient aware of the potential danger if used or handled irresponsibly.
3) I accept that the retailer and manufacturer of this product will, under no circumstances, be responsible for, or liable for, any claims of injury or damage arising from the use or misuse of this product and by purchasing this product, whether for myself or as a gift, I acknowledge and agree to this fact without question.
4) I am not inebriated or of unsound mind and am fully able to make a rational decision to purchase this product.
* There’s a frankly terrifying conversation you can read at the bottom of the previous Naga Chilli Vodka post, which will give you some indication of the sort of people ‘we’ are. As a bit of an update from that, the curry house near the office has since run an evening where the theme was ‘Can anyone eat a hotter curry than Justin’, with prizes up for grabs. They didn’t even consult him beforehand. Anyway, nobody in the West Kent area could, no lessons were learnt, stomach cramps were had and once again all the curries were finished.