Duck

Happy Friday one and all! I didn’t think we’d make it, but a-whole-nother week has passed and here we all are. On Monday, Ben promised one of you a dram of the recent Glen Grant 60 Year Old Queen Elizabeth II Diamond Jubilee (1952-2012) whisky (it’s a concise and sensible name for a whisky) – the 15ml sample of which is worth about £200. Yup.

All you had to do to win it was submit the best joke to us here!

Today we are very excited to announce the winner. Ben and I discussed the jokes at length and have to give commendable mention to the Superman joke, the Thor gag, and also the Highways Agency joke, but there can only be one winner:

Ryan for this incredibly funny joke…

A distressed old lady walks into the vets with a limp duck under her arm.

She takes the duck to the vet nervously who dutifully checks it over.

“I’m very sorry… there’s no real way to tell you this, but I’m sorry, your duck is dead”

“it can’t be” the distressed lady objects “it was flapping around so happily this morning… I need a second opinion; perhaps you’re not versed in ducks”

The vet explains he is a duck expert, but looks to console the old lady. He opens a small door and out comes a black labrador. The lab goes up to the duck, gives it a sniff over, shakes its head and gives out an apologetic bark. The vet remarks, but he can see the old lady is still unconvinced. The vet opens another small door and a small cat emerges. The cat goes up to the duck, sniffs it over- beak to tail, tail to beak, looks up at the vet, shakes its head and gives a demure miaow.

The vet turns to the old lady: “I didn’t want to say this to you, but I am very sorry; your duck is dead.”

The old women seems to have gained some closure by this. Saddened, she turns to the vert: “*sniff* Ok, how much do I owe you?”

“That’ll be £300”

“£300?? Just to tell me my duck is dead?!”

“I’m very sorry my dear. Had it just been me, it would only have been £30, but with the cat scan and the lab report, it all adds up”

Well done Ryan, we hope you enjoy the £200 of whisky currently on its way to you!

Cat

Mike.