Every year, without fail, this industry of ours asks itself the same question: What is the Drink of the Summer™?
And every year, without fail, scores of writers, bartenders, lifestyle publications, PR agencies, and people deemed to exceed society’s beauty standards (often called “influencers”) feel they have the definitive answer. One that will give us all meaning at last. Define our collective happiness until September, when cocktails are just another drink again.
I guess the idea is that people will then want those drinks, so bars can obediently stock up. Then Instagram reels can churn out slow-mo pour shots, and somewhere in a secret location in a volcano, the worst marketing team you can ever imagine high-fives over a branded hashtag no one will ever, ever, ever use.
This is what summer should look like. And that’s an order.
The Drink of the Summer™
“Now, hang on a second, Adam. I could have sworn I’ve seen you claim to be making the Drink of the Summer™ on this blog/on Instagram/in that overtly sensual dream I keep having”.
Yes, we at Master of Malt have done it too. Although, at least for my part, I treat the whole concept as a meme. The drinks version of Scottish comedian Limmy tweeting “Check out Daft Punk’s new single ‘Get Lucky’ if you get the chance. Sound of the summer.” for over a decade. You probably shouldn’t have internal memes that only you get.
But it tickles me because really, anything can be the Drink of the Summer™. Which also means everything can be too. Apple juice poured into a hollowed-out apple spiked with a little bourbon? That’s a paddlin’. Someone throwing a plastic pint of piss over you from a great distance at a festival? That’s a paddlin’. The idea that the real Drink of the Summer™ is a feeling in your heart/the friends you made along the way? Oh, you better believe that’s a paddlin’.
The Drink of the Summer 2025 is…
Perhaps the most galling thing about the Drink of the Summer™ is that it’s never even something revolutionary.
It’s always just one of below:
– A spritz with a slightly different fruit/liqueur than Aperol.
– An Aperol-based thing that isn’t just a Spritz.
– An Aperol-based thing that is just a Spritz with a slightly different fruit/liqueur in it as well.
– A classic cocktail that hasn’t gotten many column inches lately, so it naturally becomes the hipster, cool choice.
– The BuzzBall. The Naked & Famous (agave is so hot right now). One of a million tiny variations on a Spicy Marg (agave is so hot right now). The Jungle Bird. The Creamsicle (gotta have that nostalgic sweet treat). For God’s sake, pick something; the deadline is Thursday.
– If you’re particularly lazy, anything as long as the cocktail pictured has a tiny pink parasol.
Vibes are everything
We pretend it’s about flavour, but really it’s about vibes. You’re not ordering the Frozen Spicy Yuzu Daiquiri because you like yuzu. You don’t even know what it is, Mr. Simpson; nobody does. If you feel like rambling about how it’s actually a Japanese citrus that’s a cross between a lemon and a lime, no, a lime and an orange, or was it a lemon and orange… Maybe a grapefruit… C’mon, who are we kidding here?
You’re ordering it because some publication told you it’s “this year’s Aperol Spritz”. God forbid you’re the sort of person who still drinks last year’s Aperol Spritz. The whole thing is made even worse given that, by the time you’ve even realised there’s a drink you simply must have, it’s mid-August, you’re in a cardigan, and you feel like a twat trying to manoeuvre a straw into your mouth past a huge hunk of ice and watermelon. But hey, you got the Boomerang shot, and that’s what counts.
So what is the Drink of the Summer™ this year? A Hugo Spritz, obviously. Why not? Has it already been the DOTS™? Probably. Who even cares? Now do as you must. The elderflower liqueur is just a click away. Go on. Do it…
