The Burns Night Poetry Competition returns!

6th January 2023 10:00 am

Make us laugh, cry, sing, or applaud. But timorous beasties need not apply as our Burns Night Poetry Competition returns for 2023!

If you’ve always fancied yourself a poetic genius undiscovered or just really want to win some delicious whisky, then since 2019 our Burns Night Poetry Competition has been the right place for you. In honour of the Scottish Bard and the whisky-soaked celebration on 25 January which champions his legacy, we’re once again asking you to dazzle us with our artistic flair.

Last year was our biggest yet, with hundreds of entries, and while some would cause a luvvie to weep, there were some real standouts. Check out our previous winning entries from 2019, 2020, 2021, and 2022, if you don’t believe us. So we’ve gone even further this year, creating five categories to allow every poet who doesn’t know it the chance to excel, and selecting five sensational Scotch whiskies as the prizes. There’s one big prize, then four runners-up that will be chosen for different reasons.

The Burns Night poetry comp is back

Our competition is back!

Five winners, five prizes

Without further ado, here are the categories:

The Scotch Drink award for the best poem. Simply the poem that receives the most votes will be crowned the overall winner, and the writer will win a bottle of Benriach 27 Year Old 1991 #1865 Rum Barrel.

The Tam o’ Shanter award for the funniest poem. For the comedians, the entry that makes us laugh the most will win its writer a prize of Darkness 8 Year Old. No rhyming ‘whisky’ with ‘frisky’.

The Auld Lang Syne award for the best belter. For those who would rather craft song lyrics in the Burns style and make us sing till like it’s Hogmanay, you could win a bottle of 70cl Johnnie Walker Blue Label Gift Set with 2x Crystal Glasses.

The Red, Red Rose award for the best heartbreaker. Draw a tear from our eyes as tell us how much you love whisky and may win a bottle of 70cl Deanston fill your own bottle, signed by Brendan McCarron Deanston Master Distiller.

The Scots Bard award for the poem we think Burns would like the most. Write something we believe Burns would pick if he was around to judge and you’ll receive a bottle of Seaweed & Aeons & Digging & Fire 18 Year Old.

For all these categories, we’ll be picking our top three entries and then turning over the power of judge to you. That’s right, the three best will be posted on our Instagram Story, where you the public will vote to decide the respective category-winning poem.

Top whiskies are waiting to be won

Enter our Burns Night Poetry Competition 2022

Each entry must be written in either English or Scots. No epics, we’re also asking once again you stick to 25 lines or less. There’s no rules other than that. Write a haiku, or sonnet, or invent a whole new genre if you’re that good.

You can enter either using our dedicated entry page or by posting a comment comprising your poem in the comment section on our social media post on MoM’s Instagram or Facebook page. You can also post it in the comment section of this very blog if you’re feeling brave enough to let everyone else read your entry…

That’s it! As always, here’s a little something from the Bard himself, Robbie Burns, to get you in the mood. Best of luck, and Slange Var!

Is there for honest Poverty

That hings his head, an’ a’ that;

The coward slave-we pass him by,

We dare be poor for a’ that!

For a’ that, an’ a’ that.

Our toils obscure an’ a’ that,

The rank is but the guinea’s stamp,

The Man’s the gowd for a’ that …

The 2023 MoM Burns Night poetry competition is open to entrants 18 years and over with postage to UK addresses only. Entries accepted from 10:00:00 UK time on 6 January 2023 and closes at 12:00:00 UK time on 20th January 2023. Full T&Cs are below. The winner will be announced on Burns Night, 25 January.

View Full Terms and Conditions.

MoM Burn’s Night Poetry Competition 2023 T&Cs

THE PROMOTER: The promoter is Atom Supplies Limited (company register number 03193057), trading as Master of Malt (MoM) and having its registered office at Unit 1 Ton Business Park, 2-8 Morley Road, Tonbridge, Kent, TN9 1RA, United Kingdom.
THESE TERMS AND PRIVACY POLICY: By entering this competition, entrants confirm they have read, understand and agree that these terms and the MoM Privacy Policy (and the way we process personal data) are binding to them. The promoter reserves the right to amend these terms; to hold void, suspend, cancel or amend this competition at any time.
ELIGIBILITY: This competition is only open to individuals who are 18 years or older and are residents of the United Kingdom, excluding Northern Ireland. To be eligible, the shipping address for the winning entry must be in the United Kingdom. Ineligible entries (howsoever received) will be discarded. The competition is not open to any employees (and their immediate family) of the promoter or any of its associated companies. MoM reserves the right to verify the validity of entries and entrants (including an entrant’s identity, age and place of residence) at any time and reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to disqualify any individual who, or any entry which, it believes has breached any of these terms, tampered with the entry process or engaged in any unlawful or improper conduct which may undermine the fair and proper conduct of this competition.
ENTRY/COMPETITION PERIOD: This competition opens at 10:00:00 UK time on 6th January 2023 and closes at 12:00:00 UK time on 20th January 2023.
HOW TO ENTER: To enter, individuals must within the entry period submit an original poem with a maximum of 25 lines and inspired by whisky to the promoter either (i) using the dedicated entry page at www.masterofmalt.com/burns-night-poetry-competition-whisky, or (ii) by posting a comment comprising of the poem in the comment section of the relevant social media post on MoM’s Instagram or Facebook page, or blog post referring to the competition. Multiple entries (with a different poem each time obviously) are permitted, encouraged, even! No purchase is necessary, and no payment is required to participate in the competition or to claim the prize.
WINNERS: There will be 1 overall winner and 4 runners-up. The selection of the winners will be at MoM’s absolute discretion and will be final. No correspondence or discussion will be entered into. For the overall winner and their winning poem, MoM will choose 3 overall best poems, then post these poems on MoM’s Instagram Story, the public will vote for the best poem, and the poem which receives the most votes will become the overall winning poem. For the 4 runner-ups and their winning poems, they will be chosen from 4 additional categories of poems – the belter, the heartbreaker, the funniest, and the poem that Burns will love most). Similar to the overall winner, MoM will choose 3 best poems from each category, then post these poems on MoM’s Instagram Story, the public will then vote for the best poem for each category, and the poem which receives the most votes will become the respective category-winning poem.
THE PRIZES: All prizes are inclusive of packaging and carriage. All prizes are provided by the promoter and are strictly non-negotiable, non-transferable, and cannot be exchanged for any equivalent cash value, cash alternative, or for other items. The overall winner will win a 70cl bottle of Benriach 27 Year Old 1991 #1865 Rum Barrel. The best belter poem runner-up will win a bottle of 70cl Johnnie Walker Blue Label Gift Set with 2x Crystal Glasses. The best heartbreaker poem runner-up will win a bottle of 70cl Deanston fill your own bottle – signed by Brendan McCarron Deanston Master Distiller. The poem that Burns would like the most runner-up will get a bottle of 70cl Seaweed & Aeons & Digging & Fire 18 Year Old . The funniest poem runner-up will get a bottle of 70cl Darkness 8 Year Old
UK SHIPPING ONLY: The prize can only be delivered to a valid United Kingdom address provided by the winner and the runner-ups.
CLAIMING THE PRIZE: MoM will make reasonable efforts to contact the prize recipients via email or by telephone as soon as practicable, then the names of the winners and runners-up will be announced on MoM’s blog as soon as practicable. If any prize recipient cannot be contacted or is not available or has not claimed the prize within 5 days of MoM contacting them, MoM reserves the right to offer the prize to another eligible entrant. MoM cannot accept any responsibility if any prize recipient is unable to take up the prize or fails to claim the prize within the time limit as set out above. MoM may contact the prize recipients for feedback in respect of the competition and/or prize and may use any feedback provided when announcing the results and promoting the competition or subsequent competitions.
ORIGINAL ENTRY CONTENT ONLY: Let’s be sensible, people. Any content submitted to MoM, howsoever submitted, for the purposes of entering the competition must only be original material. By entering this competition, entrants warrant and undertake that their entry does not infringe any third party rights. Entrants agree to indemnify the promoter from and against any and all third party claims or liabilities relating to or arising out of the content submitted by them or their breach of any of these terms.
ACCEPTABLE ENTRY CONTENT: All entry content must strictly comply with the MoM’s Acceptable Use Policy. In particular, any material which depicts, describes, encourages, endorses or normalises the excessive consumption of alcohol; the consumption of alcohol by those under the age of 25; anti-social behaviour (including any criminal activity) or irresponsible drinking (including rapid drinking); links the consumption of alcohol with popularity or other social success, bravado, technical skill, good fortune, the operation of vehicles or other machinery or therapeutic benefits; or which depicts the consumption of alcohol whilst potentially dangerous activities are being undertaken will be disqualified.
USAGE OF ENTRY CONTENT: Without limiting any of MoM’s rights in each entrant’s submitted content and as between each entrant and MoM, MoM (and any third party authorised by it, including but not limited to licensees and assignees) shall have the universe-wide right, in perpetuity, in its sole discretion, to use and exploit all submitted content and/or any parts thereof (which may include, but are not limited to, any image and text) in any format or version, and in any and all media now known or hereafter devised and by any means or methods now known or hereafter devised, and each entrant hereby grant to MoM all consents to enable MoM to do so. Each entrant irrevocably waives the benefits of and agrees not to assert any provision of law known as “moral rights” or any similar laws of any jurisdiction in connection to the submitted content.
LIMITATION OF LIABILITY: Insofar as is permitted by law, the promoter, its agents, employees, and/or representatives shall in no circumstances be responsible or liable to compensate any entrant who participates in the competition and/or any prize recipient who claim(s) the prize for any loss, damage, personal injury or death whatsoever and howsoever caused, whether in contract, tort (including negligence), breach of statutory duty, or otherwise, for any direct, indirect or consequential losses arising out of or in connection with their participation in this competition, any failure or delays or postponements or cancellations in making the appropriate travel and accommodation arrangements as a result of any winner taking up the prize (including in relation to their guests), except where it is caused by the negligence of the promoter, its agents, employees, and/or authorised representatives. Competition entrants’ statutory rights are not affected.
GENERAL: The promoter confirms that this competition is not sponsored or endorsed by the social media platform identified herein and said social media platform is in no way affiliated to or associated with the promoter. By entering this competition, users agree to release that social media channel from any and all liability related to this competition. These terms shall be governed by English law, and the parties submit to the non-exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of England and Wales.

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9 Comments

Aleuitious quill says:

6th January 2023 at 7:17 pm

A whiskey, however hard it tries,
Will always be moonshine.
Does the whiskey make you shiver?
does it?

How happy is the illicit liquor!
Does the liquor make you shiver?
does it?

Dram is cold oven.
cold oven is dram.
Clink.
Why is it so wooly?

Reply
Andrew says:

6th January 2023 at 8:45 pm

As we raise a wee glass and to a safe slumber retire,
think of those less fortunate, their homeland under constant fire.

For those who doge taxes, grumbling at paying their dues,
Think of the poor soles once clapped for, now freezing in food bank queues.

Whilst this is oft a time for a joyous drinking session,
Many are turning off the heating, fearing a dark deep recession.

But as to the past year we say “mar sin leat”,
Maybe to this way of living we can say “we’ve survived all that!”.

Reply
Alison Burns says:

13th January 2023 at 11:31 am

Scotch. Malt.
Single malt.
Or bourbon.
We can choose.
Which power to taste.
Caught in those bottles.

Each of those types
carries a specific story.
Delivered in a glass.
In those drops of fire.
Sometimes we search
for our comfort in them.
Sometimes an escape…
Or we are just enjoying
in that specific taste.

Reply
Mark Kane says:

14th January 2023 at 6:31 pm

Telly is pish
As is the weather
So I’ll pour us a dram
And have a wee blether

We’ll talk about
Our days we’ve had
And why our jobs
Are really bad

But with these
shared sacred hours
We enjoy this time
Because it’s ours

As midnight
Comes ever closer
Next dram poured
It really throws her

Soon we’re naked
And getting frisky
Thats the power of
cask strength whisky

Reply
Dimitri Bouter says:

16th January 2023 at 4:08 pm

An ultrasweet sherry finish

The rain came in heavy
in a terrible storm
As two lovers were quarrelling
on the banks of Loch Gorm

“Just show me I’m special”,
the fair las’ shiv’ring sighed
He pulled her closer
(laughed) “Let’s set this right!”

Out came his hip flask
-he kissed her wet hair-
“Please have this last dram,
as it’s my ‘angel’s share’…”

The sun started shinin’
The two lovers grew old
For a dram solves all problems
from quarrels to cold

Reply
Gary Blackwell says:

16th January 2023 at 8:37 pm

A day full of Damn’s, followed by a night of dram’s. Wistful of tomorrow’s engram.

Hoisting more than a few, to all those that knew. From Alloway, born and through.

A romantic movement, spent growing his employment. Means by which as insufficient.

His love for the ballard, we become so enamoured. Remaining scots humble bard.

It is celebrated today, because of yesterday. His repartee of renowned word play.

Not one for the steeple, a poet of the people, rabbie burns is unequal

Reply
Sam Swindells says:

17th January 2023 at 12:23 pm

AN ODE TO UISGE BEATHA

Life is full enough of tough times and disappointments,
that we must embrace those bright days, those precious moments,
So often enhanced by a tipple or two,
With friends, family, those dearest to you.

So grab the nearest tumbler, Glencairn or copita
And say thanks for our very own Uisge Beatha,
That guid auld Scotch drink immortalised by Scotland’s famous son,
Let us each raise a toast, until the bottle is done.

Roll out your sherry bombs, peat monsters, and everyday blend,
For the complexity of flavour knows no end.
Marvel at the colour, the nose and the palette,
Commit these to memory, lest we forget.

We all have our preferences, that much is clear,
But make no mistake, the humble dram unites us,
that which we each hold so dear.

Reply
Dan says:

20th January 2023 at 12:04 am

Robbie Keeps It Real

Aye tis true gang I from Earth 200 years and score,
But seated here, o’er you all, I’ve lewked ‘pon times of yore.

And think I whilst the centuries have had their share of hurley,
Tis nothing to compare with now – oh what a reeking ferlie!

You sit with ‘phones’ and blethering thumbs, this living be not reet!
Open ye eyes, my sonsie lads, and taste the whiskey’s heat.

And smell the warm rich haggis – that chieftain of the pud!
Yes lewk ‘pon it with your eyes, not at some window of YouTub’!

And wheet your whistle with old friends and neeps and tatties cook,
‘Twill fill your heart hundredfold-more than scrawling on Facebook.

Take up my verses and recite – all there will surely clap.
Will that not make a cantie night more than a van’shing Snap?

So gather now on Burns Night and don’t live life for the ‘Gram,
But savour sweet your bonnie pals and a peaty, amber dram.

Reply
Allison Oliphant says:

23rd January 2023 at 8:50 am

I’m walking the dog in the freezing fog
My eyes and nose are running like taps
Our faces are like ice
Our pace picks up as we head on home
Because we know what’s waiting
The smell of the haggis is just right
With a malt in my hand and the fire ablaze
All’s left to say is Happy Burns Night

Reply