Burns Night poetry competition – win Islay single malts

13th January 2021 12:00 pm

It’s time to sharpen your pencils because our great Burns Night poetry competition is back by popular demand. You could win two delicious bottles of Islay single malt, plus a Glencairn glass.

UPDATE: We’ve been inundated with entries and will announce the winner ASAP once each work of poetic genius has been subject to due consideration.

For the third year running we are calling on Master of Malt customers to flex their poetry muscles for a chance to win whisky. When we launched the competition back in 2019, we thought maybe we’d get 10 entries. Instead we got many times that and the quality was surprisingly high. Just take a look at the winning entries from 2019 and 2020.

This year Burns Night, Monday 25 January, is going to be a little different for all of us. But we can still eat haggis and neeps, drink some whisky and, most importantly, celebrate the words of the Bard himself, Robert Burns: “Wee, sleekit, cowrin, tim’rous beastie, O, what a panic’s in thy breastie!” Great stuff, we love a bit of Burns at Master of Malt. To help you on your way, we are giving away: a bottle each of Seaweed & Aeons & Digging & Fire 10 Year Old Islay single malt and Seaweed & Aeons & Digging & Fire 10 Year Old Cask Strength Islay single malt from our friends at Atom Labs, plus a Glencairn tasting glass to sip them out of.

Seaweed & Aeons & Digging & Fire

All you have to do is compose a poem about whisky. We had some Ossian-esque epics last year so we’re limiting entries to 25 lines. All poems must be in English or Scots. Apart from those rules, let your imagination run wild: you can write a haiku, a sonnet or maybe something experimental a la E.E. Cummings. Poems will be judged by the discerning team here at Master of Malt. There’s at least one second class English degree from a redbrick university among us, so we know what we’re doing. Before you set pen to paper, we’ll offer you a couple of tips: try to be amusing, if we have to read 50 poems, we are going to remember the ones that made us laugh; if you can’t make us laugh, make us cry; please don’t rhyme ‘whisky’ with ‘frisky’, it’s an automatic disqualification.

The 2021 MoM Burns Night poetry competition is open to entrants 18 years and over with postage to UK addresses only. Entries accepted from 12:00 GMT on 13 January to 23:59 GMT 21 January 2021. Full T&Cs are below, but to enter simply email us at [email protected], or comment on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or below with your poem by 21 January. The winner will be announced on Burns Night, 25 January.

Good luck and may the muse be with you.

View Full Terms and Conditions.

MoM Burn’s Night Poetry Competition 2021 T&Cs

THE PROMOTER: The promoter is Atom Supplies Limited (company register number 03193057), trading as Master of Malt (MoM) and having its registered office at Unit 1 Ton Business Park, 2-8 Morley Road, Tonbridge, Kent, TN9 1RA, United Kingdom.
THESE TERMS AND PRIVACY POLICY: By entering this competition, entrants confirm they have read, understand and agree that these terms and the MoM Privacy Policy (and the way we process personal data) are binding to them. MoM reserves the right to amend these terms; to hold void, suspend, cancel or amend this competition at any time.
ELIGIBILITY: This competition is only open to individuals who are 18 years or older and resident of the United Kingdom. Ineligible entries (howsoever received) will be discarded. The competition is not open to any employees (and their immediate family) of the promoter or any of its associated companies. MoM reserves the right to verify the validity of entries and entrants (including an entrant’s identity, age and place of residence) at any time and reserves the right, in its sole discretion, to disqualify any individual who, or any entry which, it believes has breached any of these terms, tampered with the entry process or engaged in any unlawful or improper conduct which may undermine the fair and proper conduct of this competition.
ENTRY/COMPETITION PERIOD: This competition opens at 12:00:01 GMT on 13 January 2021 and closes at 23:59:59 GMT on 21 January 2021.
HOW TO ENTER: To enter, individuals must do the following within the entry period: submit an original poem (maximum of 25 lines) inspired by whisky in the comment section on the relevant social media post on MoM’s Facebook, Twitter or Instagram page, blog post, or by emailing the poem directly at [email protected], or via post to the above address for the attention of the “MoM marketing team”. Multiple entries (with a different poem each time obviously) are permitted, encouraged, even! No purchase is necessary, and no payment is required to participate in the competition or to claim the prize.
WINNER: MoM will choose 1 winner with the best poem submitted from all qualifying entries. The selection of the winner will be at MoM’s absolute discretion and will be final. No correspondence or discussion will be entered into.
THE PRIZE: The winner will win a prize consisting of: (1) a 70cl bottle of Seaweed & Aeons & Digging & Fire 10 Year Old; (2) a 70cl bottle of Seaweed & Aeons & Digging & Fire 10 Year Old Cask Strength (Batch 001); and (3) a Glencairn Tasting Glass, including packaging and carriage. The prize is provided by the promoter and it is strictly non-negotiable, non-transferable, and cannot be exchanged for any equivalent cash value, cash alternative, or for other items.
UK SHIPPING ONLY: The prize can only be delivered to a valid United Kingdom address provided by the winner.
CLAIMING THE PRIZE: The name of the winner (and/or along with their social media channel username or handle where applicable) will be announced on MoM’s blog and/or MoM social media channels as soon as practicable after the competition period. MoM will make reasonable efforts to contact the winner via Direct Message as soon as practicable after the competition period. If the winner cannot be contacted or is not available or has not claimed the prize within 5 days of MoM contacting them, MoM reserves the right to offer the prize to another eligible entrant. MoM cannot accept any responsibility if the winner is unable to take up the prize or fails to claim the prize within the time limit as set out above.
ORIGINAL AND SENSIBLE ENTRY CONTENT ONLY: Let’s be sensible, people. By submitting content to or via our social channels which we are running the competition on, you agree to only submit original material and content that comply with our Acceptable Use Policy. By entering this competition, entrants warrant and undertake that their entry does not infringe any third party rights. Entrants agree to indemnify the promoter from and against any and all third party claims or liabilities relating to or arising out of the content submitted by them or their breach of any of these terms. Any material which is in breach of our Acceptable Use Policy, which depicts, describes, encourages, endorses or normalises the excessive consumption of alcohol, the consumption of alcohol by those under the age of 25, anti-social behaviour (including any criminal activity) or irresponsible drinking (including rapid drinking), which links the consumption of alcohol with popularity or other social success, bravado, technical skill, good fortune, the operation of vehicles or other machinery or therapeutic benefits, or which depicts the consumption of alcohol whilst potentially dangerous activities are being undertaken will be disqualified. MoM reserves the right to hold void, suspend, cancel or amend the competition where it becomes necessary to do so. If there is any reason to believe that there has been a breach of these terms or any attempt to circumvent or to frustrate them, MoM may, in our sole discretion, exclude any person from participating in the competition.
ENTRY OWNERSHIP: By entering this competition, entrants agree that all right, title and interest in their entries will belong absolutely to the promoter. Entrants agree to irrevocably assign with full title guarantee and free from all third party rights, all intellectual property rights in and to any content s submitted with their entry. MoM shall have the right to use, exploit, adapt and edit any content submitted (or part thereof) throughout the universe in perpetuity. By entering this competition, entrants waive all moral rights which they are or become entitled to under Chapter IV of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 (or any similar right or entitlement anywhere in the world). Entrants agree to sign any additional documentation which may be required to give effect to this paragraph.
LIMITATION OF LIABILITY: Insofar as is permitted by law, the promoter, its agents, employees, and/or representatives shall in no circumstances be responsible or liable to compensate any entrant who participates in the competition and/or the winner who claim(s) the prize for any loss, damage, personal injury or death whatsoever and howsoever caused, whether in contract, tort (including negligence), breach of statutory duty, or otherwise, for any direct, indirect or consequential losses arising out of or in connection with their participation in this competition, any failure or delays or postponements or cancellations in making the appropriate travel and accommodation arrangements as a result of the winner (including in relation to their guests) taking up the prize (where applicable), except where it is caused by the negligence of the promoter, its agents, employees, and/or authorised representatives. competition entrants’ statutory rights are not affected.
GENERAL: MoM confirms that this competition is not sponsored or endorsed by the social media platform identified herein and said social media platform is in no way affiliated to or associated with MoM. By entering this competition, users agree to release that social media channel from any and all liability related to this competition. These terms shall be governed by English law, and the parties submit to the non-exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of England and Wales.

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29 Comments

Andrew Douglas says:

13th January 2021 at 12:42 pm

One sip memories
Of camping with my father
When his boots caught fire

Reply
- Andrew Douglas says:
  
  13th January 2021 at 12:46 pm
  
  *Use this one:
  
  Sipping memories
  Of camping with my father
  When his boots caught fire
  
  Reply
  - Emily @ Master of Malt says:
    
    26th January 2021 at 5:17 pm
    
    Hi Andrew!
    We enjoyed your poem immensely, and we’d like to award you a runner-up place for our Burns Night Poetry Competition! We were inundated with entries and we thought yours was one of the best!
    Please e-mail [email protected] as we’d love to send you a runner up prize.
    Thanks,
    Emily
    
    Reply
David Churcher says:

13th January 2021 at 1:02 pm

Is that cut grass, heather or peat,
Arriving on the nose, in the mouth,

I hear the malt hit the floor,

Staves bevelled and tapered,

It’s cold outside the fires calling,

My dram is awaits.

Reply
Daniel says:

13th January 2021 at 1:27 pm

Grab a glass
Go to you’re stash
To pass your favourite
To Pour into your glass
And it’s gone in a flash.

Reply
julie kettle says:

13th January 2021 at 1:48 pm

Grannies best whisky was always in her tea
A tiny drop too do you good you see
The aroma was lovely it stayed on her breath
Like warm cuddles and cosiness is what it conveys to me
Although I prefer it in coffee the modern way for me

Reply
Martyn Gaunt says:

13th January 2021 at 2:17 pm

Japanese uisca
Most times quite acceptable
Will not toast the Bard

Reply
Emma Whiteman says:

13th January 2021 at 6:12 pm

I am home schooling

My kids are aged eight and six

I require whisky

Reply
- Emily @ Master of Malt says:
  
  26th January 2021 at 5:18 pm
  
  Hi Emma!
  We enjoyed your poem immensely, and we’d like to award you a runner-up place for our Burns Night Poetry Competition! We were inundated with entries and we thought yours was one of the best!
  Please e-mail [email protected] as we’d love to send you a runner up prize.
  Thanks,
  Emily
  
  Reply
Rob says:

14th January 2021 at 12:47 pm

Oh how I love a whisky
The aroma been known to get people frisky
Sometimes tastes like peat sometimes like grass, and depending on senses can tastes like
As phalt

Reply
- Daphne Monk says:
  
  15th January 2021 at 11:55 am
  
  Happy Voices
  A glass of amber liquid
  The front door locked
  
  Reply
Mike says:

14th January 2021 at 2:44 pm

We have all got the right hump

From Covid to Donald Trump

So let’s all do a massive fist pump

And roll out our favourite whiskey with a big Thump !

Reply
Ian Buxton says:

14th January 2021 at 6:44 pm

Would that be e e cummings by any chance?
Or E J Thribb?

Reply
Emily says:

14th January 2021 at 8:07 pm

Love in the Time of Covid

Make ends meet
Netflix repeat
Lovers retreat
Beat the meat
Gimme that peat.

Reply
Kellie says:

14th January 2021 at 8:22 pm

On a frosty February night was our first date,
Although no one knew wee Andrew was gonna be late.
He made himself at home when he finally arrived after his excuse of being sleep deprived.
We went in on to a few bars and got hammered on whisky……after waiting 30 minutes to McDonald’s he tried to get frisky….I wasn’t having none of that, fell asleep to find him sleeping on a wooden chair next to the burning fire……he slept like a log that night

Reply
Samantha says:

14th January 2021 at 8:45 pm

Hold yer Weesht an
Hae a wee dram or twa,
It winna be Lang until yer pished,
and desperate far the loo

bracing yersel against the wall,
Staggering up the stairs tae bed,
Yer legs will feel heavy as lead
An yer cheeks will be rosy and red

Reply
Alan Bevan says:

14th January 2021 at 9:37 pm

The new year has arrived so fast,
As I think of the world’s recent past.
I feel like a whisky
And getting so frisky
This year’s got to be better than last.

Reply
Ed says:

14th January 2021 at 10:35 pm

There was an old man called Alan,
Who downed a bottle of Macallan,
He stumbled on home,
His wife sat on his bone,
And now there’s a young man called Alan.

Reply
James Shewell says:

18th January 2021 at 12:34 am

It’s hard to write poems about whisky,
Without rhyming with the word frisky,
There’s surely no link,
Between sex drive and drink,
Only that too much of either is risky

Reply
Francesca Whittaker says:

19th January 2021 at 10:39 am

Happy thoughts
I dream of your warmth
Touring through chilly Scotland
With my perfect family
To introduce them to you

Reply
John Watkinson says:

20th January 2021 at 11:40 pm

To this simple man, whisky’s a treasure
It brought him immeasurable pleasure
In his drams, he liked peat to the fore
Like the tastes of the sea and the shore
With an octave thrown in for good measure

Reply
Liam O'Donnell says:

21st January 2021 at 12:32 pm

After a long walk
There’s no time talk
Raise your glass for a tipple
And hear the waters ripple.

Reply
Liam O'Donnell says:

21st January 2021 at 12:35 pm

After a long walk
There’s no time for talk
Raise your glass for a tipple
And hear the waters ripple

Reply
Freddie HW says:

21st January 2021 at 1:10 pm

A goose was in the corner, guzzling doon Laphroaig,
The groose at the grooses banquet, were feeling quite annoyed,

“What’s that goosey doing here? Hath he no respect?”
“How did he get an invite?” The grooses double checked.

There they beheld some missing “R’s”, the words read “goose” and “dam”.
Well I guess we’re the intruders, let’s join goosey from a dram.

As the amber liquor flowed, the groose let down their feathers,
Goosey recited Rabbie Burns as they stood amongst the heathers,

Not a dry eye on the moor, the grooses were in tears,
And now they welcome all gooses and birds, year on year on years.

Reply
carmel pickering says:

21st January 2021 at 1:22 pm

When the world is nearly at a halt
And exercise? Well it just sucks!
I feel the burns with a single malt
And raise my wee glass with pluck!

Reply
Mary Clements says:

21st January 2021 at 8:17 pm

The Whisky Toast:

There once was a lady who sat all alone,
Only dreaming and dreaming of where she would roam
But the plague it had hit and beaten all hard
And the order was issued to stay in her yard.

So imagined escapes were all that she sought
And to this sad scene, a bottle she brought.
Slowly she poured it and filled her wee glass
To help her mind wander to far distant grass.

The colour, the smell, the deep amber heat,
She downed it in one and felt the warmth creep.
Then loudly she called out in proudest of boasts,
Soon all will be better, to that let me toast.

Reply
Kerry Black says:

21st January 2021 at 9:12 pm

MASTER OF MALT ODE
In lockdown days sae dark and dreary,
When herts are worn and bones are weary,
The thochts we locked in memory’s vaults,
Come flowin’ ower like golden malts!
We mind o’ the days, we got oor thrills,
Hikin’ ower heather harled hills,
Happed up in kilts and anoraks,
Wi’ buttered pieces in wee knapsacks.
Stravaigin’ ower country streams,
On landscapes shaped like shortbreid dreams.
Then slumberin’ by a wee campfire
As tartan memories spark us higher.
So tak’ a moment, remove yer mask
And savour a sip fae a wee hip flask.
A whirl o’ whisky can slake yer drouth
Melting aeons o’ memories in yer mooth!
As peppery peat pervades yer tongue
In yer heid, yer once again young,
Burlin’ roond tae Jimmy Shand,
Daein’ The Gay Gordons hand in hand.
Forget furlough, let yer hert exalt,
Toast yer future wi’ a braw big malt!
KERRY BLACK – 21ST JANUARY, 2021

Reply
Nigel Greaves says:

21st January 2021 at 9:40 pm

A glass of good whisky
Makes me feel frisky
Might be a bit risky!

Reply
Hattie says:

10th January 2022 at 6:27 am

Fancy a dram my brothers? Let us reminisce old times when we were young, sharing drams under both moon and sun. Stoke the campfire down by the Loch, near moor, or mist covered mountain (it matters not).

Fancy a dram my brothers? I long for pipes, a fiddle and drum; concertina and guitar – let the music flow far, step and dance the ceilidh band so carefree that we are

Fancy a Dram my brother? Let us naer forget those gone too soon, some too young, and how we said goodbye – a tiny ablaze raft sailing out a moonlit sea with beautiful song music and poetry.

Fancy a Dram my brothers? Blood and water you are my kin, and nothing the past few years could bring will ever make that brightness dim. I just love yous more, treasure what I have, let go what I have not

Fancy a Dram my brothers? Let us carry on this way as we get old
Fancy a dram my brothers, good company a fiery warmth against any cold.
Fancy a dram my brothers, fancy a dram.

Reply