Created by the “madcap” Professor Cornelius Ampleforth, the romantically- and SWA-appeasingly-named Proprietary Barley Spirit Drink combines the Professor’s signature love for infusin’ and mixin’ with his passion for whisky and the ways and techniques of yore. Yes, yore.

For this thrilling instalment, Ampleforth turned to Spain, and to the mountainous countryside that surrounds Pajarate. It was here that Paxarette was born; a dark, syrupy liquid made by boiling down grape juice and fortified wine. In the past, the Scotch whisky industry made use of Paxarette to season casks, simply by pouring this rich flavouring into the wood, to help impart a fuller, richer sherry character into the whisky that was aged in them.More...

‘twas some nights before Christmas (alright, three months before)

And Ben was a-mixing some bitters for all

He flavoured them richly, with many a plant

And left them to marry in a cask from Glen Grant

He then added frankincense with a satisfied purr

And threw in a handful of the very best myrrh

Next up was some gold, for sparkle and glitter

then he spread the good word with a message on Twitter.

He called to us gaily, with all of his might:

“Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night”

That took me over 10 minutes to write so I really find it hard to believe you’ll need any more information than that. More...